Do You Really Want To Read About Crock Pots?

Another Every Wednesday Post…

Okay, so I addressed my “fear” of using crockpots and made my first dish which can only be described as a soupy, tomato-y mess that my toddler refuses to eat.  I can only say that it included carrots, onion, chicken breast and tomatoes. I cannot say that it turned out to be any recognizable dish.  My husband did “save” it by re-cooking it for hours with mushrooms. 

Back to the drawing board…

October 19: Learn A Few Recipes Really, Really Well

Every Wednesday, I’ll (try) to post up a Simple Living Tip, with an emphasis on tips that can be done while living a more traditional 9-to-5 life. 

Unlike my husband, I’ll never think of cooking as “relaxing” or really enjoyable. However, after years of marriage, I have become more confident in the kitchen and I can make a variety of tasty dishes with minimal effort, even improvising as necessary.   I think that having several go-to “no-cook” dishes has definitely simplify my life.

Here are my go-to dishes when I’m tired, hungry and don’t want to think too much:

1. Pasta Salad:  Easy to customize and great for lunch the next day, too.
2. Pasta with tuna (and sometimes capers, olives and parmigiano): Pasta without any red sauce is a life saver when you’re not very inspired.  This one is quick to make; you simply dump in a can of tuna, preferably tuna in olive oil, and mix well. 
3. A Big Salad: Italians generally don’t eat a salad as the main dish, but my husband and I do this often in the summers.  Open a bag of pre-mixed greens, mix a vinegrette of olive oil and balsamic vinegar, and add in toppings such as bell peppers, avocado (a favorite of mine), carrots, tomatoes, sliced ham, artichoke hearts, cubes of cheese, goat cheese etc..
4. Rice Salad: An Italian summer favorite. See recipe here.  Can also be lunch the next day.
5. Frittata: I love the versatility of frittata. It’s easy to make and you can mix and match ingredients like onions, spinach, bell peppers, etc.. I prefer to keep the ingredients simple like onion and bell peppers.  Great for dinner or lunch.
6. Oven-baked rosemary chicken and potatoes: This one takes a little more effort but you can make a big pan of chicken with potatoes for two dinners.  By effort, I mean that you do have to check the chicken and flip it around from time to time.
7. Stir Fry: Another mix and match recipe. Saute a 3-4 ingredients in a big wok with soy sauce and oil. I generally pick 2 veggies and 1 meat or tofu. Vegetables I like include: bell peppers, mushrooms, bean sprouts, broccoli and bok choy.  Make rice in a rice cooker in the meantime.  You can also use different sauces and spices for variety.
8. Fajitas: Saute beef (or chicken) with bell peppers, onions and a fajita mix.  Wrap in a tortilla and add hot sauce.

What are your quick and easy go-to recipes? 

I also have the vague feeling that I wrote something similar to this post before but I did not find it going through my blog archives, or it could have been an unfinished post that never saw light of day….

Men Can Cook, Too (Or How Women Can Simplify Their Lives)

I’m very fortunate that my husband is the main cook in our household. We eat meals that are delicious, healthy and often better than anything you’ll find in a restaurant.  However, over the years, I’ve learned a fair share of recipes, too.  That way, if my husband has a busy month, is away for work, gets sick, or I just feel like it, I can whip up a decent meal too. I often help with the preparation or hang out and take pictures for this blog.

Even in this day and age, I know that my experience is unique.  Among my friends, co-workers and family, most of the cooking is done by women.  This is true even if she works full-time.  Whether due to real interest, societal expectations or a combination of both, once married or living together, most women embrace traditional wifely duties with gusto. The husband either appears less interested or overcooks one dish and is banned from the kitchen forever. It’s no wonder that woman often work a so-called “second shift” after coming home from their 9-to-5 jobs. 

The problem is that cooking requires more planning than say scrubbing the tub.  It’s also a lifelong daily commitment unlike, say, mowing the lawn every so often.  You have to plan meals, do the grocery shopping or write the list for your husband, and then do the cooking.  And those ten dishes you know get boring pretty quickly so you have to get creative and consult magazines and food blogs to keep your family happy.  Oh, and you have to pack lunch for yourself, husband and kids, too.  What happens if you’re busier that week or feel sick or just want a break?  

A Missed Opportunity

Unlike mopping, dusting or vacuuming, cooking is unique because it can be an enjoyable and rewarding “chore”.  If both husband and wife are relative beginners, it’s an opportunity to learn something fun together.  If one of you is already an expert cook (like my husband), you can still teach your spouse.  I’m the perfect example!

Truthfully, I’m more similar to the typical male when it comes to cooking.  I would have been more than happy to watch TV and wait for a delicious meal to magically appear at the table every night.  My husband, however, realized that this would not work well in the long-term. It took a mix of gentle persuasion and insistence to push me into cooking.  On a practical level, he wanted some nights off and didn’t want me to be completely helpless if he worked late or was out of town.   He also wanted to share the joy of cooking with me. So if you’re female and already undertaking all the cooking, try to include your husband.  You may be amazed at his creativity and skill in the kitchen if you give him half a chance.

If you’re still not convinced, here are some food for thought:

1 ) A newlywed friend of mine insisted on doing all the cooking for her husband. They both worked full-time and she had the longer commute. I gave her that same bit of advice.  Her response was that she loved to cook so I dropped the subject.  Many months later, she announced that she was “on strike” from cooking and grocery shopping. For several nights, her puzzled husband got take-out or made sandwiches for dinner.  When the fridge was empty, he finally asked her if anything was wrong.  After that, he tried to help more around the kitchen and did more of the grocery shopping.  To be fair, he could have taken the initiative sooner.  However, this entire drama would have been unnecessary if she hadn’t taken on all the cooking duties in the first place.

2 ) While returning from a work trip, my husband and a guy friend started discussing their home lives.   Like my husband, his friend was the main cook in the household. Unlike my husband, his friend never taught his wife to cook.  He lamented that he often returned from long work days to an empty fridge.  If he didn’t buy groceries or cooked, the wife went out or ate junk food.   My husband was amazed by this.  I may not be able to whip up risotto or leg of lamb.  However, if I know he’s working late, I know how to stock up the fridge and try to make several food that is easy to re-heat.

3 ) Recently I read an interesting article in Redbook about the importance of equality in marriage.  (I wish I could give you the source but I was browsing in a doctor’s office.)  Most women try to take over the household and childcare responsibilities, even if she is working and her husband has more egalitarian views.  As a result, the husband becomes an irresponsible “child” that she has to take care of along with the children.  This situation eventually takes a toll on the woman and places stress on the marriage. Although you would think that the man would enjoy his irresponsible role, most actually don’t enjoy being treated like a child in household matters.

Sometimes I think the real reason women are overwhelmed is the high expectations we put on ourselves to be the perfect wife, mother and career women (for some). Yes, our rigid corporate system, lack of paid mandated maternity leave, and lack of vacation time do play a huge role. However, if we took a step back and let men take on more responsibilities, we would find the work/life balance much easier.  It’s not just cooking. It starts from the moment she gets engaged.  The woman usually spearheads the wedding planning.  Soon she is writing the thank-you notes, planning the holidays, buying gifts for her husband’s family and friends, and of course, doing the cooking and most of the household chores.  Once children enter the picture, it’s no wonder that they feel like they must drop their careers.  Instead of dropping careers, how about dropping the apron and spatula once in a while?

 Obviously all this doesn’t apply to women who stay at home.  If you don’t work, you probably should do most of the household chores.  However, I would still encourage both spouses learn basic cooking skills so that the other isn’t completely helpless in the kitchen.  Unlike dusting or vacuuming, cooking can’t wait and it’s nice to have a spouse cook for you if you’re overwhelmed or ill. 

I Hate Take-Out (Or The Real Reasons We Cook?)

I tend to get on people’s cases if they make excuses for not cooking (well at least on this blog, not in person!). I just think everyone can make time to cook if they really wanted to. However, I realize that our household has certain advantages that make it much easier for us than for others.

I’ve written about my husband and my cultural upbringing in other posts (“Why Americans Don’t Cook”). My husband also freelances, which means more flexibility and time for cooking. However, I realized recently that there are less usual reasons that make it easier for us to cook.

1) Aversion To Take-Out

Most if not all my American friends grew up eating take-out at home. I didn’t. Maybe we ate Kentucky Fried Chicken on occasion? For the most part, we ate home-cooked meals or went to a restaurant. This explains why I think getting take-out is a major hassle. Once I get in my car, I want to get home. I don’t want to stop somewhere to grab food. I don’t want to wait for my order. I just want to get from Point A (work) to Point B (home). It seems much easier to get home, make a simple meal if you’re pressed for time or tired, than to get take-out. Maybe it’s just me…

Don’t even get me started on pizza delivery. The one time we did this, we had to call two different locations and neither wanted to serve our area. I don’t think they like to deliver to houses on dark, dirt roads with barking guard dogs and roaming coyotes. The delivery driver got lost. The pizza was cold, greasy and not worth the wait.

2) Less Aversion To A Messy Kitchen

Someone once told my husband that our kitchen looked “used”.  He sincerely meant that as a compliment. His Armenian mother cooked delicious foods from scratch and he knew the labor and mess involved in real cooking.  So I have to confess that we do tolerate a bit of a mess. If you can’t stand a messy kitchen or don’t have a maid, it may be harder for you to enjoy cooking.

Does anyone else have not-so-obvious or even slightly odd reasons for cooking on a daily basis?

Why Americans Don’t Cook

The New York Times had an excellent article entitled Out of the Kitchen, Onto the Couch about the effects of convenience or processed foods, feminism and marketing on our country’s culinary habits.  It turns out that these days even homemakers don’t spend much time in the kitchen.

My theory for the decline of cooking  is that the influx of processed and fast foods hit the U.S. before any real culinary habits had been ingrained in our culture.  Let’s face it. Our pioneering ancestors did not place much value on cooking and eating, unlike say, the Italians, Chinese or French. By the time Julia Child’s cooking show hit the airwaves and supposedly transformed our relationship with cooking, it was too little too late.

Feminism hit Italy, too, and scores of women gleefully threw off their apron. My mother-in-law is an able cook but willingly lets my father-in-law take the lead role in cooking.  (He’s one of the best cooks I know and deserves a post!)  Feminism allowed women who didn’t enjoy cooking to get out of the kitchen and enabled men to embrace it more openingly. In fact, I know many Italian men who enjoy cooking and are the main cook or share duties with their working spouse.  Despite the advent of fast food and convenience food in Italy, people were not willing to give up their cuisine. The time spent cooking has likely declined in Italy also but not to the same extent. In other words, Italians knew that they had great food traditions were worth holding onto.

In American kitchens, most men didn’t enter the kitchens because frankly, there wasn’t any great cuisine to save.  Restaurant foods were tastier and take-out was faster.

You can argue that we now have a greater knowledge of food due to increased travel and exposure to cooking shows, but that knowledge doesn’t translate to the actual act of cooking.  We don’t have grandparents or parents to teach us those skills and I would argue that this country never really had those skills in the first place.

Cooking 101

I read several “simple living” and finance blogs that tout cooking at home as one of the biggest ways to save money. You can find great tips on saving money on groceries, growing your own vegetables, and creating a weekly menu. Of course these sites also offer tons of recipe ideas.  While this is all important, I think one of the biggest missing components is the importance of actually learning to cook!  If the end result is a tasteless meal that makes you crave restaurant food, what’s the point?

Reading recipes (or watching cooking shows) is NOT a substitute for hands-on learning with a knowledgeable cook. If reading about something was enough, then we could all become Shakespeare scholars just by reading a few of his plays, right? Or you could look at work-out photos in a fitness magazine and do all the moves correctly? Not really. Most likely you’ll end up with a headache trying to figure out Shakespearean English and a bummed knee.

My point is that while you can learn a great deal from reading about a subject on your own, nothing replaces learning and getting feedback from a qualified instructor. A good teacher can give you valuable pointers, correct mistakes, and show you how something should turn out.

A recent New York Times article about cooking, or lack of, included these interesting stats:

“Research by the NPD Group showed that Americans ate takeout meals an average of 125 times a year in 2008, up from 72 a year in 1983. And a recent U.C.L.A. study of 32 working families found that the subjects viewed cooking from scratch as a kind of rarefied hobby.”

In other words, despite the proliferation of cooking shows, lifestyle/cooking magazines and websites and best-selling cookbooks, there is still a huge gap between our desires (to cook) and reality. So my advice? Sign up for a few cooking lessons — the investment is worth it. Or make friends with a good cook and make a nuisance of yourself!

Here’s are takes on the same topic at 2 other blogs:  Magpie Girl and the Kitchn.