Have you ever re-read your old diaries? Years ago, I came across a few notebook/diaries that covered late adolescence (Hello Kitty notebooks…Purple ink…Unhealthy obsession with 80s pop bands!) to high school age (unrequited crushes…forgotten arguments…mean girls, and mean boys…). I must say that I was a bit appalled and embarassed by my own thoughts and confessions. After re-living a few highly dramatic moments, I destroyed these.
I’m sure that my actions are appalling to anyone who has ever kept a diary, and I would be lying if I didn’t admit that I was a bit hesitant. I’m sure that if I had re-read everything, there had to be some deeper insights along with the teen angst. In the end, I was more fearful of having them discovered someday. I am no longer that person and I wouldn’t want any family member finding out some of the horrible things I wrote about them during my angry youthful days. I’m not saying that there isn’t some value at reading your old thoughts and feelings but for me, it just brought out bad memories. I think I tend to dwell on negatives rather than write about good things. I was pretty dramatic also, as are most teenagers I suppose.
So now instead of keeping a journal, I keep on blogging. For me, the most important difference between a blog and diary is that I’m forced to think through what I say/write before hitting the publish button. That fact alone makes me less negative and more thoughtful. Maybe a diary is more truthful, but at least I won’t be embarassed if I read my own thoughts 20 years from now!
Do you keep your old diaries or are you worried someone will discover them?