Fear Of A Good Rant

It’s funny. Some of my favorite bloggers write very good, no-holds barred rants on topics ranging from over-the-top party planners to hated celebrities.  And it goes without saying that some of my favorites posts on a multitude of blogs are rants.   Yet everytime I start writing “rant” type posts, I either don’t finish or post a rather watered-down version. 

Here’s how it typically goes:

Step One: Pick A Topic:  My go-to target is Gwneyth Paltrow and GOOP.  I start my rant.  She’s an easy topic for me or for anyone for that matter. Who doesn’t laugh at a privileged white rich girl married to a rock star who decides to dispense advice to the masses?  Anyway, I decided to subscribe to the GOOP newsletter so I can get a first-hand peek at her life.  There is plenty of fodder for rants.  A recent newsletter highlighted a friend dropping by for dinner, only that friend isn’t an unemployed buddy from college like it might be for us regular folks.  That friend is a world famous Spanish chef who makes authentic paella and a few recipes with pate and truffles! 

Step Two: Write Fast: Usually when I feel like ranting, I go on a roll.  I can’t type fast enough to capture my own thoughts.

Step Three: Self-Censorship or Decimate Original Article: After letting my draft sit in the queue for a few days, I start deleting more hurtful words or sentences.  I may even clarify sentences that seem to harsh.  Example: If I write a particularly mean-spirited sentence about Gwyneth Paltrow,  I will add something like, “She probably doesn’t even realize this due to her pampered upbringing”.   I might even add a praise or two, as: “While I think she’s a talented actress and enjoyed her work in Sliding Doors and Shakespeare in Love…”  See, where I’m going?

It’s as if I expect Gwyneth Paltrow or the head of her fan club to stumble upon my blog!  And even so, it’s not like I really care or should really care if I offend someone. That’s the beauty of a good rant, right?

Another problem is that I tend to see the gray in everything.  I do think some of the tips in the GOOP newsletter are helpful.  I do think Gwyneth Paltrow has good fashion sense. 

Step Four: Publish a watered-down rant, which I probably would only describe as random thoughts, or don’t post at all.  (Example 1: I wanted to title a post “I Hate My Dogs” and then changed it to “Sometimes I Hate Having Dogs.”; Example 2: I wanted to say “I Hate Foodies” but changed the title and shortened the post to the less offensive “Don’t Call Me A Foodie.”)

Anyway, as I work on making this blog more honest, I will attempt to write a few good rants now and then.  If you knew me in real life, you’d know that’s more my style than the polite version you get here!

Do you love to read or write rants?

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11 responses to “Fear Of A Good Rant

  1. We all have our pet hates and annoyances but having a public rant about someone is not something I personally get…..I would hate for someone to do it about me and I follow the “treat others as you would like to be treated motto” Believe me I am not a goody goody or perfect and can have a private whinge with the best of them…but to go public…just would not feel right. Maybe you don’t go through with it because it may be hurtful and maybe you are not really a hurtful person??? “I start deleting more hurtful words”……???Would you feel good/ok about yourself afterwards????

  2. I dunno… that foodie post was pretty controversial!

    • I blurt out the wrong thing too and have definitely had my foot in my mouth on occassion but I suppose the difference between that and posting a ranty post is…..the intention behind it. When we inadvertantly blurt we usually have no intention to be mean or hurtful….if we post a mean/negative post about someone then what is our intention??? To be mean/to be controversial/to be funny/to get more readers??? I am all for raising issues and getting things off our chest but when it hurts others I think, I personally would tread carefully. Lot’s of people make money and have high profiles with that sort of line of work…..authors/journalists/tv celebrities/shock jocks etc…. Obviously the demand is there for it.

  3. Michelle – I don’t think I’m a hurtful person, but sometimes in real life I blurt out things that hurt people and I definitely can say/think mean things! Some rants are so funny…

    N&M: Really? Thanks!?

  4. We do ranty posts to:
    1. deliberately cause discussion and deeper thinking about complicated issues, especially if we believe that the status quo belief is harmful (this accounts for many if not most of our “deliberately controversial” posts)
    2. get stuff off our chests that we can’t say IRL without hurting someone’s feelings or totally tripping over social mores and thus getting into major trouble (this is many of our rants)
    3. Fight the patriarchy! Because sometimes being sweet and quiet does the opposite of helping.

  5. I’m a pretty reserved person. I rant largely in my head or to my fiance. Occasionally on my blog…..but very very rarely.

  6. From what you have described, I would say that your rants, nicoleand maggie, come from good intention. I am all for standing up for yourself and for what you truly beleive in. You are exactly right when you say that some issues need a voice. I am just not into bagging out particular individuals for shock value, just because we can, because they are famous or because we think we know stuff about them when we no nothing about them at all. I suppose what am saying is ranting about people who are cruel to animals is admirable…..ranting about Gwenyth Paltrow is unfair.(sorry oilandgarlic…I know that you were only making a point)

  7. Oh, and our first deliberately controversial post, “Dogs vs. Cats” was totally written with the intention of driving traffic to the blog. It worked, though not quite in the way we’d intended.

    Btw, Cats rule, dogs drool!

    • Right now, I have to agree with you about cats because more landlords accept cats and you can always sneak them in (?); Dogs not so much. However, friends with cats seem to also get high vet bills, too, and that would upset me too.

  8. I find that posting a good rant is easier if I’ve had a beer. Judge me if you must…. 🙂

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