I’ve written about working mother guilt countless times. And I like reading and commenting on posts and articles on that issue, too. I feel it’s important for women to stop beating themselves over choosing or having to work, as their contributions to the family are just as invaluable as staying home in my not-so-humble opinion. Finally if you have to work or want to work, guilt is just a waste of time and people who try to make you feel bad about it are a waste of time.
So in my typical fashion, I felt the urge to dole out advice. Since my concrete tips for not being bitter at work seems most useful to people, I thought it would be helpful to offer real suggestions for reducing motherhood guilt as well.
After re-reading my own post, I trashed it. I realized it seemed a bit sanctimonious, as if my way for guilt-free motherhood was the best way. I also realized that my concrete tips may not work for different personalities, nor should I dictate the best way to spend “quality time” with your kids (and kids all have different preferences and personalities anyway!).
So for now I am giving my best tip, which is not concrete nor necessarily easy to follow, it’s all really mental. If you create a mental image of perfect motherhood or set up some unattainable ideal, or compare yourself to a mom who seems to be doing it “right”, then you’ll feel guilt. If you truly believe you’re doing your best and your kid is fed, sheltered, loved and happy, then you’ll stop wasting precious time on feeling unnecessary guilt.