Why I Am Not A Work Superstar

Recently I had the opportunity to take on a highly visible project at work, one that most people would jump at and one that two others are actively fighting over now to control.  There’s only a slight chance that this project would lead to a promotion or raise but it would definitely lead to valuable new skills.  The fact that I turned this down is the reason I’ve never been the work superstar.  Note: I am taking on another project that would take just as much time and hard work but is simply less exciting and with less in-fighting over responsibilities.

After making this decision, I realized that I have often make “bad” decisions in terms of career because I don’t go for the highly visible projects or positions.  This is not always a bad thing.  I still find ways to challenge myself.  I do lead interesting and valuable projects and I’m not the one saddled with grunt work while everyone else gets the high-profile projects.   However, I don’t invest enough in my career to make that superstar impression and that’s the reason I continue to be the “valued yet despensible” employee rather than the true star with management potential. 

I would be lying if I said that this doesn’t bother me on some level.  It might have been good if I had planned out my career path in my late 20s or early 30s.  At the same time,  I try not to dwell on regrets.  I am a professional with many valuable skills, enjoy my job for the most part, and have always balanced work with life.

If you’re looking for ways to be a superstar at work, you’re at the wrong blog.  I do give advice about enjoying your work and career, but I admit that it has never been my top priority.

What qualities do you think make someone a “star” at work? Are you a work superstar? 

I Feel Like A Fraud

My posts about work/career, specifically addressing how to avoid bitterness and finding ways to enjoy your 9 to 5 job, are two of my most-read posts.   Yet right now I’m doing the opposite of my own advice.  Instead of seeking new projects, I avoid it and prefer to surf the web, read blogs, chit chat  or do anything else.  The good news is that I know my own advice works because my lack of initiative is already turning me into the bitter co-worker I warned about in my previous posts!

I guess I have to fake it until my more usual enthusiasm returns.  The problem is that if I work really hard, I get the same small raise and it’s pretty obvious that there’s no chance for promotion.  So I don’t feel the motivation to be pro-active or even to keep learning.  If I don’t fake it, however, I start getting bored at work.  And it’s not like I don’t have any work to do, which puts me between two unappealing situations.  I can do my “usual” work but I get bored OR I can seek out new challenges but I would have to read up on industry news/reports, analyze data, and actually use my brain (horrible, I know…).  I don’t really have the motivation to do that either.

To make matters worse, there’s a new co-worker whose energetic Type A personality is wearing me out and threatens to steamroll past me to the better projects (and even title if s/he plays his/her card right).  I know that realistically and truthfully I don’t care for management but at the same time, I hate the feeling of being bypassed, even if I don’t want that brass ring.

What do you do when you’re in a work / motivational slump?  Other than quit?

There Are A Lot Of Bitter Worker Bees Out There

I noticed that many people find my blog typing in the words “bitterness”, “how not to be bitter”, “bitter at work” and variations of that thought.  It seems that bitterness and work are closely intertwined.  Not surprising given that work isn’t always fun and many people can’t “follow their bliss” or at least can’t make a living doing their dream job.

I’ve written two posts addressing the bitterness at work issue and they’re usually among my most popular so they’re easy to find. I’m too lazy to do a link right now and I don’t really have much to add to the topic.

I definitely have moments that I truly hate work, not because of the job itself, but because it takes away time from family, friends, and being able to watch TV in my pajamas.  I tell myself, often unsuccessfully, that there are other things related to work that I do enjoy:  independence, security, travel, using my education and intelligence, wearing nicer clothes, and the occasional recognization of a job well-done.

Anyway to other poor working stiffs, don’t forget to enjoy summer and take some vacation days!

How Not To Be That Bitter Old Person In The Corner Cubicle

If you’ve ever worked in an office, you know that person: the one who is always complaining about work, various health woes, bills to pay, their children, traffic, the weather and about life in general. I refer to this person as that bitter old person in the corner cubicle. As someone hitting 40s soon, I hate to say it but this person is often middle-aged.

When I was in my early 20s, I never understood why anyone would be so negative about their life. Why did they stay at a boring, unrewarding job? Why didn’t they just move or change jobs? Why don’t they write to their congressperson? Why do they shoot down my dreams? Why do the parents on My So-Called Life whine so much?

Now, in my late 30s, I understand all too well. Most people are hit with difficult challenges and setbacks and this takes a toll after so many years. Most big dreams do not come true. It’s not easy to become a famous writer, news anchor, international spy or [insert your BIG dream here]. It’s difficult to change jobs when you hit your 40s. By that age, you have a family, a mortgage, childcare or college tuition costs and a lot of other responsibilities.

Life is often unfair and is not what you imagined. When you’re young, you know this in the abstract but you still have time…You can still dream big. Even if you had more modest goals in mind, you still envision yourself with a rewarding career, a wonderful spouse and two lovely kids. Only later, in middle age, do you face the fact that you’re not management material, you may have married the wrong person, and your teenage daughter daydreams about stabbing you..repeatedly.*

Some people, usually women, get out of the work force altogether. That’s one way to avoid becoming that bitter person in the corner cubicle. If this is not an option and you don’t want to go through the typical mid-life crisis (i.e. buy a sports car, have an affair, quit your day job to open a restaurant, etc.), what can you do?

I believe that embracing a simpler frugal lifestyle is the key to mid-life happiness. You may not have a big house or luxury car, you may not have achieved your childhood dream, and you may not even have the perfect family. However, instead of focusing on what you don’t have or did not accomplish, you can focus on the good things in life, however small.

Here are some tips to prevent a full-blown mid-age crisis (or a quarter-life crisis for that matter):

1 ) Find reward outside of work

At some point, you have to accept that you are not getting a corner office at your current company. If you enjoy your work regardless, you can stay put and find meaning outside of work. This could be time with family and friends, a fun hobby, a creative pursuit, volunteer work, travel, etc.. The possibilities are really endless.

2 ) Change jobs

Yes, it’s hard to get hired when you get older. However, it’s not impossible. You can improve your skills and marketability through professional certification programs, night classes, volunteer opportunities, or projects at work. At least send your resume out there!

3 ) Never shoot down other people’s dreams

You may think you know better and maybe you do have some words of wisdom. However, realize that even if you didn’t become a world-famous writer, news anchor or international spy doesn’t mean someone else can’t achieve their dream. If you’re the younger person receiving the advice, try to listen (a little). Sometimes even that bitter old person has good tips that can help make things easier.

4 ) Minimize complaints to one area

Okay, you hate your job, traffic, weather, your bad kids, etc. You can’t complain about everything or people will start avoiding you (unless they’re also a complainer). Too much negativity is bad for your health. Yes, traffic is bad. Traffic is bad every morning. It’s okay to vent once in a while but not daily.

5 ) Appreciate the “small” simple things in life

This is probably the hardest and most important one.  You drive an old car and can’t afford all the cool tech toys.  You’re still paying off your student loans. You may not have the right clothes or your dream house.  Whether the cause of this negativity is financial or not (i.e. you’re not keeping up with the Joneses),  it’s important to think of a positive to counterbalance the negative.

For example: I sometimes dwell on the fact that I don’t have a six-figure salary.  I need to counter that negative by remembering that I do make a decent salary in a respected job that makes use of my experience and degree. Plus, I still have time to enjoy other things in life!

It’s important to remember the small things that you love about yourself and your life.  What small things are you grateful for?

For more on this topic, check out a recent Wall Street Journal article about having a positive mid-life crisis.

* Morbid reference courtesy of “My So-Called Life”